How We Became Three: Junia's Birth Story
In April 2018, I found out I was pregnant.
January, February and March we had worked with a fertility doctor to see if we could avoid another miscarriage by doing it their way. I was taking medicine to make my body release extra eggs and we were getting an ultrasound each month at the time of ovulation to see how many viable eggs there were. Then I’d receive a shot to make me ‘super ovulate’ and we’d go home, have two days to do our best to get pregnant, then wait. I didn’t feel great about this method because I had already been ovulating regularly, and I had been pregnant twice already, but we decided it was worth a shot. During that time, my body ached and I even had a ‘chemical pregnancy’ as they call it.
After three months, we decided this was not the path for us. I wanted to take a break from the toll on my body, and try some other holistic options. In April we decided to see a naturopath and she was amazing. I felt like she was the first person to look at what was really going on; I was not having trouble getting pregnant, it was carrying the baby that seemed to be the struggle. She put me on some supplements, one being methylfolate in case I had a common gene mutation where my body was unable to digest regular folic acid. The day after seeing her, I found out I was pregnant! (Apparently she was a miracle worker! ha!) This was certainly surprising, considering we were ‘taking a break,’ at least mentally, from trying.
We immediately called the doctor’s office and I went in for blood work. I was just barely pregnant, but I knew immediately. The blood work came back and was worrisome. It was a Friday. The nurse practitioner told me to not be surprised if I started bleeding over the weekend, as if anyone can prepare for that kind of heartache. I called our naturopath and told her through my tears what was happening. I will never forget how much she helped me that day by saying, “No, this is not over until it’s over. Do nothing stressful this weekend. Rest and enjoy. I want you sending light and love to your body, and that is all.”
That evening we were supposed to have friends over for a little cookout and campfire. I almost backed out, but decided it may be good to be distracted. Because it was our close friends, we told them what was going on. Our brother in law asked everyone to come into our living room and each person gathered around us, placed their hands on us and prayed. We begged God for a miracle. We prayed that somehow the medical staff would be wrong, and this little baby would be one we were able to have and hold.
I went in a few days later for more blood work, and we received better news! The numbers had gone up, and though we weren’t out of the woods, it was at least good news for that day! This continued every few days as I went in to have more blood taken and the numbers continued to go up! The nurses still were not convinced, but Hunter and I, though anxious, were filled with hope. At six weeks pregnant we had an ultrasound. I was terrified to go into that room where we had only received bad news. I was scared to open my eyes and see what was on the screen, but there it was; our baby’s heartbeat! We were overjoyed! We knew this wasn’t the end, but again, it was good news. Two weeks later we went back for another ultrasound and there was our sweet, healthy baby! We were cleared to be released from the fertility doctor and go back to the comfortable care with our midwife. I remember the doctor said, “This is a healthy pregnancy, and healthy pregnancies take care of themselves. Now you just get to worry about labor!” His dry sense of humor was appreciated because it helped my heart lighten and my hope rise!
***
It was Friday morning, December 28, 2018 when I had an early morning appointment with my midwife. I was excited to find out if I was dilated because I had lost my mucus plug that morning and was starting to have some mild contractions. I was two days from my due date and had been doing all the things; eating dates, drinking raspberry tea, exercising, married things, etc. I was hoping I could somehow go into labor that day, because our regular midwife was leaving town later that evening. As it turned out, I was only dilated to 1cm, and it didn’t quite seem to be baby time. I did my best to go about the day as normal and hope that the mild contractions would start to show some promise.
We went to sleep that night wondering if it would be the night. I was awakened by some intense contractions around 4:30 am Saturday morning which lasted until around 7am. They died down a bit so Hunter and I decided it’d be good to distract ourselves instead of just wait at home for a baby. We had a coffee date to Oddly, strolled through Pryde’s, and walked laps around Target hoping to intensify the contractions. No such luck. That night the contractions picked up but again died back down, so we tried to get a little sleep. A couple hours after going to sleep, I was woken up again around 4:30am to strong contractions. This had to be it! We were going to have a due date baby! We decided to stay home from church and everything else that day since my contractions were pretty regular. They were too strong to be in public, but not yet strong enough to head to the hospital.
Sunday evening, things started to pick up a bit. We ended up asking our doula, Tara, to come over around 11pm or so, thinking this was finally it. We all ate a midnight breakfast meal together thinking we’d need fuel for the labor that was about to follow. Again, contractions were too strong to ignore, and even only minutes apart, but not yet strong enough to be active labor. Around 2am or so, our patient doula went home and suggested we try to get a little rest. A couple hours later I was again awakened with intense contractions. It was Monday morning and we had already gone several nights with hardly any sleep and I was beginning to feel the exhaustion.
Although it was new years eve, the amazing midwife on call, Aubree, told us to come into her office so she could monitor both baby and I, and check to see if I was any more dilated. As it turned out, I was dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced- progress! She monitored us for awhile and both baby and I were doing fine. However, she was concerned about my level of exhaustion, knowing that active labor wasn’t too far away. She suggested we go home and that I take a bath and do anything to get a little rest (which is of course very hard to do while having contractions!)
That night it was more of the same. Tara left her NYE party to come party through labor with us. Her, Hunter and I were between contractions when we heard fireworks, realizing it was midnight! We clinked our coffee and water cups and thought we’d be welcoming a little new years baby! I walked laps and stairs for hours around the house trying to intensify the contractions and after they started to show promise, they died back down. Around 2am or so, we again tried to get a little bit of sleep. The same wake up call happened around 4:30am, so we got up to try and eat something and make sure our bags were packed. At about 7am, Hunter called Aubree and she told us to come on in to the hospital and skip triage. She wanted to go ahead and admit us so she could watch baby and I and make sure we weren’t too exhausted.
After arriving at Research Medical Center at 7:45am on New years day, my contractions calmed down. (tricky baby!) We talked about options and one they mentioned was giving me some medication to allow me to rest. However, not wanting to have a medicated birth in any way, I decided to wait it out a bit longer and was hoping my adrenaline would kick in. Shortly after, it did! Hunter, Tara, and I started doing laps around the hospital. Of course these laps were complete with lunges, plies, squats, yoga and power walking. The nurses found us a bit humorous, but what else can a person do when trying to encourage a baby out! Meanwhile, the room next to mine had apparently had the first baby of the new year in Kansas City, so there were news and film crews coming in and out of the halls! I don’t think my lunges made it on tv, but at least they got to see what labor entails, ha!
We tried everything to intensify my contractions. I laid for over an hour with the enormous peanut-shaped yoga ball between my legs trying to help my pelvis open and encourage the baby downward. We continued the laps around the halls. I used the breast pump while sitting on a yoga ball and though it did ramp things up a bit, we still weren’t in active labor. Finally at about 3pm, we decided to have Aubree break my water. Though I was hoping to not have any intervention, this seemed like the least invasive option, while also hopefully effective. There was no guarantee, but we hoped it would push me over the edge into active labor. Within moments of breaking my water, the contractions were extremely intense. Finally! Then began the hours of tiring, rapid, powerful, active labor.
This is where my memory begins to blur. It was as if I entered another world. I was so thankful to not have to use medication, because I was able to be entirely present, yet it was as if I was in another place at the same time. I remember Tara, our incredible doula, saying, “This will not overcome you.” I began to repeat that in my head. I began to chant to myself, “I am not afraid, this cannot overcome me… No fear, no tension, no pain.” Of course there was pain, but that kind of suffering is different. It was pain that I knew would result in the greatest gift. I remember Sigur Ros playing in the background, the lights were low, and the room smelled of the oils they were rubbing on my back during my contractions. Each contraction was extremely painful on my lower back and tailbone because of where the amniotic fluid and the baby’s head were, so I was desperate for counter pressure. Each time, Tara and Hunter traded off or worked together to provide pressure on my tailbone; even at points literally getting on top of my back and using knees and whatever else to create enough weight on my aching body.
My mom joined the team sometime in the early evening, and later on Hunter’s mom joined as well. Our midwife Aubree also stayed in the room for hours leading up to our baby’s birth. It took each person to get our sweet baby here. It was an honor to have our moms to lean on, keep a cold cloth on my forehead, and offer me sips of water to sustain my energy. There is something amazing about being in complete vulnerability and being surrounded by women who also have endured the beautiful suffering of childbirth. Aubree was a calm, gentle, and steady presence in the room. I remember her sitting quietly and with such grace, without judgement or an agenda. She never hurried me or the process. I am so grateful.
I remember moving however my body led me. I remember many contractions taking me to my knees, while someone would slip a pillow underneath them. I recall moving as if moving through waves. I remember holding onto the back of the bed, holding the side of the bed, going back and forth from the toilet seat, and even standing in the shower leaning on Hunter. I remember a moment where I was bent down holding onto the tub in the room as tears streamed down my face. It’s hard to even put into words what was going through my mind. There was a mixture of complete gratitude, anticipation, exhaustion, and overwhelmed that I was finally going to meet this baby. So many prayers, worries, hopes, and dreams had led to this moment. I remember Hunter holding me as we wept together through an unspoken understanding.
At some point late in the evening we decided to check and see if I was dilated any more. I was at 7cm. I felt so frustrated and disappointed because I had already been laboring so long, but the team assured me that this was significant progress and the next part would most likely move quickly. Aubree checked me again around 11:30pm (so I’m told- I had no concept of time at that point) and I was only at 9.5cm. It was unclear when I would make it to 10cm. Aubree said my cervix was completely effaced and barely blocking the baby’s head. She warned it would be uncomfortable, but said she could reach into my cervix and help the baby along with while I pushed. At that point I was ready to do anything to get our baby here! I pushed with all my might and she massaged my cervix over the baby’s head.
I pushed in every position it seemed but the sweet baby was reluctant. I remember reaching across the bed squeezing my mom’s hands as tight as I could while I squatted, pushing as hard as I could. My legs were so tired that I couldn’t sustain that position for very long. I eventually ended up propped up on the bed with my mom holding one leg, our awesome nurse holding the other, me holding behind both of my knees, and doing something like the most intense sit up of my life every time I pushed. My contractions were relentless and extremely long, so I pushed and pushed through every one. After what unknowingly to me had been almost an hour and a half, I said through my tears that I didn’t know if I could do it. It was about at that time, though that Hunter started jumping up and down and yelling that there was a head! Not only a head, but one full of dark hair! Everyone was cheering and encouraging me to keep pushing but I honestly didn’t know if I had the strength. About that time, someone grabbed my hand and had me feel the head! I couldn’t believe it, there truly was a baby! It sounds crazy, but I was starting to think I’d never actually meet this little person. The energy in the room was electric and feeling the head gave me the strength I needed for one more set of pushes. I pushed with all my might and finally there was a head! The next push, at 1:08am on January 2, sent the whole baby out into the world and into Aubree and Hunter’s hands!
Hunter realized he was the first one to know the gender. He shouted, it’s a girl! And then looked at Aubree and said, “…right??” He was worried he was so excited that maybe he missed something, but sure enough she was a girl! They immediately put her on my chest and I began to weep. Not only was she a girl, but the most amazing, perfect creature I had ever seen. I couldn’t believe she was here! Everyone started asking her name, to which we replied, Junia Elaine. She was squirmy and slimy and gorgeous.
Once the cord stopped pulsing, Hunter cut it. After the placenta was delivered, Aubree showed us each part and the amniotic sac that had kept our baby safe. It’s incredible that the body creates an entire organ to sustain a baby’s life, and then gets rid of it after 9 months. Our bodies are truly divine creations.
It was so surreal. She was finally here. And somehow, she was just who I pictured. I was lucky enough to keep her on my chest for a significant amount of time, and she even successfully nursed. It was beautiful! They wiped her down while she was still on my chest and eventually took her temperature and did the other brand new baby procedures. She weighed 7 lbs 1oz, and was 20 inches long. She was perfect.
***
After all of that work, I was completely starving and even a bit light-headed. With it being the end of a holiday, there was not much access to food but I had to have something. Our nurse was able to track down a turkey sandwich which is not ideal for a vegetarian, but it was food and I was desperate for nourishment. I think it had been about 10 years since I’d had a turkey sandwich, but I’ll admit it wasn’t half bad!
My parents, brother, and sister waited to hold Junia. It was probably 3 in the morning when they were finally able to meet her. They snuggled her in awe and we swooned over her perfect little features. After they left, it was time to move to our post-delivery room. The nurses helped move everything, and took sweet Junia to our new room. Hunter, exhausted, wanted to push me in the wheelchair which made me a bit nervous because he could hardly carry on a conversation without falling asleep. We had almost made it to the room when he about pushed me into the wall! It was humorous but also telling of our many nights without rest. Once in our new room, Hunter fell asleep almost immediately and then I had a realization. I was responsible for keeping this tiny person alive. I was a mother. It was slightly terrifying, but also wonderful to realize.
Our sweet baby snuggled into my chest, I cried soft tears of wonder and gratitude, and my heart was completely full.